Udon western people, not friendly!

[BKKSTAN]

I lived in Bangkok for 5 years and found that the expats in BK didn't seem interested in getting involved easily with other falangs!When I was new,not understanding much thai and feeling like a ''mark'' alot within the Thai community,I would starve for someone to joke and hangout with that spoke my language!I started to get the attitude that all falangs living in Thailand were ''unfriendly''!I would go to the tourist venues to find someone to joke around with!That worked pretty good unless they were ''on the hunt''for a lady!!Trying to make friends in the condominium was a joke.You say hello,they look like their being disturbed and maybe grunt or say hello and then obviously show a disinterest.Meet on the elevator ,say hello,they say hello back and again no interest!Most people like me upon meeting me as I am friendly and outgoing! I never experienced this''unfriendliness''in my life while living in the USA!Some people don't like me after we have spent time together for whatever reasons and I consider that normal,no problem!

Now that I am settled into my life in Thailand,I don't seek out the company of other falangs as a perceived need.Because I have a habit of looking at falangs and saying hello,doesn't mean that that is their norm!There are many falangs that when I observe their demeanor or actions ,I choose to not engage because they don't interest me in the least(strangers that are drinking alot/drunk,falangs acting in a way that reflects negatively on the falang image in Thailand,loud mouth egotisical louts,obvious hustlers etc.)!

Someone mentioned earlier that we are getting on with our lives,many with families.We ''hangout''with others of similar interests and share our thought,ideas,experiences and opinions.Those that ''need us''to answer all their questions,fill all their holiday needs etc. don't get as much of our time unless they are particularly friendly and giving too!Sometimes,it seems that people come here on holiday and expect us, with experience in Thailand,to be at their service to make their short visit convenient and ''easier''.Sometimes the ''attitude'' of the visitor is respectful,friendly , appreciative,unselfish(aware that we have lives to live here and not imposing in their attitude) and having the time,we find it a pleasure to share with them!!The ''others'',why should we waste our time?????

Semisiam,from the attitude reflected to me through your posts,IMO,you are probably one of the ''others''!!

[valentine]

I understand there is a Swedish run bar in farang alley. A girl from our village runs it with her Swedish husband. Its called 50/50 bar, don't ask me why, never been there.

[jingjai]

SemiSiam, what have you done to connect with the local expats here in Udon?

I'm still a newbie here in Udon, 18 months.

Before I moved here, I connected with a few of the forum members through my posts and PM's. Followed that up with attending a few of the monthly meetings and social nights out with people I met here on the forum.

I also became a member of the fitness center at the Ban Chiang Hotel, where I met and have become friends with many of the members.

In short, I made an effort and got involved.

To be fair, I also have been "blanked" by farangs at Tesco, Big C and the Charoensri Complex. However, the way I see it, it's their loss and not mine.

[laphanphon]

I understand there is a Swedish run bar in farang alley. A girl from our village runs it with her Swedish husband. Its called 50/50 bar, don't ask me why, never been there.

also never stopped in, but they seem to have a nice regular customer base in the afternoon.

[Prenders88]

I understand there is a Swedish run bar in farang alley. A girl from our village runs it with her Swedish husband. Its called 50/50 bar, don't ask me why, never been there.

also never stopped in, but they seem to have a nice regular customer base in the afternoon.

You make lots of new friends in farang alley.

[Bump]

You know seven years ago it was rare to see farrang in Udon, today when I go to the complex it feel very little different then when I wa in the states, where I was very careful about invading someone elses space. I'm still friendly.

One of my favorite stories when I moved to Orand County in California while goign through a devoirce I moved into an apartment complex. I took a few mins to introduce myself to my new neighbors,everyone had that look what does this guy wnat, wahat is he going to do to me. I now have that feeling in the complex.

In the evenings I my wife and I take walk in our complex, if i run across a farrang I know they will chat a bit. One couple I have sen in these walks I try yo be frindly and say hello I get a grunt for the American husband and they change directions. On the other hand the Thais are always where yuo going. did have had dinner, what did yuio aet, somehthign alwy ay. So be very honest about his I really don't care that farrang doesn't want to talk, My Thai neighbors are friendly and it was Thiland came to get know not California, so it doesn't bother me a bit.

I have never refused to help someone new here, but in all honesty it it can be a very frustration experience, you explain how to do something. The first thing a lot want to do is challenge what you have told them. Well if you know or thought you did why bother me about it.

I have been hustled by a few Thai for a few baht, but nothing compared to the losses generated from farrang association's from my own country.

I have seen what these farrang community does to one another, both personally and to others that I know. Why I don't know maybe they are bored and it adds a little excitement to se another peson go through hell. I don't know. I don't know one thing I'm very careful about who I associate with today.

There are guy on this forunm, that say what on thier minds and don't talk about others behind thier backs, I don't see them nearly as much as I would like to. I respect them if they don't agree with me they say so and that is OK. As these people do it without flamming. But we don't share many common interests, IE they don't ride

Am I friendly these days yes but I have learned to cautious as well.

So if you see me walking around and I smile and say hello an you don't want to it's OK I have friends here.

For those new here, it is up to yuo form yuor life one of the most wonderful things about living here. You make an effort and you will find freindly people, Walk aroun d with yuour head ahnging down with a semi pissed off look on your face I don't want to ruin my good day with your mood, sorry.

Personally I don't recommend the bars, booze is a depressant, the end result of hanging around bars is yuor around a lot of derpressed people

Finding common activite scan be difficult, but the best way to do it is go do what you like doing and you will meet people that share that interest and make friends that you can share things with.

I never snub another rider, hey that is what I like doing they like to do to and can share that activity. Later I may find tha he likes to drag his pegs in corners at 140. I don't so he can wait for me or go on and do what he wants and I'll do what I want, No harm in that.

A lot of the bike weekend are really big parties I don't drink, but I can enjoy it until everyone gets to drunk and I ease on down the road. I still have fun, but at the level I feel good about.

In the end it's all up to me to make my life a good as I can here and no different for anyone else, so maybe if you just keep making the effort you will find the friendly guys. Good luck to you all, not easy moving someplace where you know no one,

[SemiSiam]

Sorry people here on Udonmap.com/forum!

I was drunk as one can bee on "Gordons Gin" yesterday.
Loneliness can drive you nuts sometime and my posting/s where not that sober. But maby my intention to point out the problems that you can have with your stay here ore anywere can at times bee "coltur chock mark III". I don't think a newbie have this problems. For he/her everything is new and are not bother with this syndrome!

I will leave the bottle fore now and start to work out at Ban Chiang!

Thanks for the nice postings. See you all. Take care!

[Bump]

Boy, I re read the first post, let me clue you into something I felt lost for months here for the very same reason. But I got through it if you want to live here you will to, if you don't then go someplace that will l allow you happiness.

You speak Thai, if you do you should have no problem making friends here. If you don't then go learn gives you a lot less time to worry about things you can't change. I can hear it now I can't speak english go so what. Thai generally don't speak good english either and they teach the classes.

Yuo want things different then get off your butt and change them, poor me isn't going to do it. No one owes you a darn thing here, it's up to you just like it was for the rest of us.

I have a neighbor from Holland another from Norway two German's live close, but no your not going to find them in Big C or the farrang alley, they are busy making a life for themselves and thier families. I know them and chat with them because I made they effort until then they stayed at home and minded thier business, like most of us do here.

You said you have seen many places in Thailand and you seemed to do well here, what in the world are you doing here, go there and be happy.

As for us old godgers it's pretty simple we paid our prices, yuo go pay yours we owe you nothing.

I feel for your situation but yuo refuse to accept your repsoniblity and that is where I don't feel sorry for you. If I met you and you projected that attitude to me I would get away from yuo just a fast as I could and I'm a very friendly person. We lose nothing because of your attitiude you are the loser in this.

[laphanphon]

nice rebound, i will save any negative thoughts on your original post and extend that one off for you. as mentioned, monthly meet ups and plenty of places to blend with us unsocial westerners.

[SemiSiam]

None of the following is written by me, but lifted from somewhere else. It talks about the supposed 2 groups of expats that can be found living in a country foreign to them

"1. THE SELF-EXILE: This type has voluntarily left a position in his home country, often but not necessarily a position of some advantage, to live abroad in a nation which is not his own- in which the language, the culture, and the physical environment are unusual to him and cause endless trouble as he adapts- but where he finds any or all of the following:
a. interesting new kinds of people and things
b. freedoms (and restrictions) unlike those in his own country
c. the psychic freedom to escape an identity entangled with the citizens of his home country
d. an absence of the noxious elements of the home country

2. THE EXILED: This type has run away or escaped from his home country, usually either to escape a bad situation or after repeated failures of various sorts, sometimes resulting from psychological or sociopathic problems. It's usually not perceived as being his own fault- "all these Brits have it in for me"- but acknowledged that the change of scene will lead to personal advantage. The good points for this type are:
a. Nobody knows exactly how screwed up they were back home
b. It's very hard for foreign nationals to tell how screwed up they are when speaking a second language
c. The opportunity to disguise sociopathy as "foreign difference"
d. There's always another country to run to when [country name] doesn't work out.

The ironic result of this is that most long-term expats avoid meeting unfamiliar faces, because they're afraid of meeting the opposite type. The Exiles don't want to run into the chronically sociopathic Exiled, who don't want to meet the Exiles in turn (whom they secretly know expose them for the screwed up types they are- even if the Exiles are too polite to say anything, the feeling of exposure seems bad enough for some of the Exiled).

[banpaeng]

There has been enough mud slinging. This thread is locked.

SemiSiam Please be more thoughtful or move on. Your choice.