Consolidated Joke Thread

[pipadoo]

Ahhhhh

[pipadoo]

Yes Harry

[pipadoo]

Phew

[AlexO]

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money

[pipadoo]

Keep smiling it could get worse

[pipadoo]

Look out!!!!

[vidmaster]

Yeeehaaaa

[pipadoo]

[jackspratt]

[Drunk Monkey]

Excellent find Jack ..very funny

DM

[Barney]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[pipadoo]

Sorted

[tamada]

Sorted

Ran out of what?

[dunroaming]

Sorted

Ran out of what?

Diesel petrol gas take your pick or make something up that works

[tamada]

Sorted

Ran out of what?

Diesel petrol gas take your pick or make something up that works

Screen?

Rowies?

Scotch pies?

[dunroaming]

Def Rowies, scotch pies still waiting for the new and improved version. Screed done

[pipadoo]

Petrol was the correct answer- apologies for that
Hope these are clearer🥸

[pipadoo]

Any comments?

[vidmaster]

Ahhhh

[pipadoo]

My wife came into the lounge and asked why our two year old son was crying.

"He kicked me in the balls," I snarled.

"It's not his fault," she said, "he doesn't understand that it hurts."

"He does now," I replied.