Consolidated Joke Thread

[pipadoo]

Let’s de having you!!!!!

[vidmaster]

Chhoobaca

[pipadoo]

Last one

[Whistler]

Covid is having its impact on mental health.

A guy in inner city Sydney sealed his garage with tape, opened all of his car windows, took 3 sleeping tablets and chugged down half a bottle of whisky, then turned on his ignition. They found him in the the next morning, revived him with a few glasses of cold water.

Thank goodness he had a Tesla.

[pipadoo]

Yehhhh

[vidmaster]

And uk still sending them £ billions every year and this is the result

[pipadoo]

Whooops

[vidmaster]

Wow

[pipadoo]

Touché

[vidmaster]

Nice

[jackspratt]

May not belong here.... but anyway.

Why Grandfathers Are Different

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends.

Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed.

Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed.

"Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.

"Not really, PaPa, it was boring. We didn't see a single asshole, queer, piece of sh.it, horse's ass, tree hugger, socialist left wing *****, blind bastard, dipshit or son of a bitch anywhere we went! We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun."

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

[pipadoo]

Nice one Jack

[vidmaster]

Ahhhhh

[vidmaster]

I’ll try again

[pipadoo]

Check mate

[stattointhailand]

There re two types of people ...... Dog people and Cat people .....

Queen Elizabeth is a Dog person (she has several corgis)

I have heard the pope is a Cat person (someone told me he was a Cat holic)

[pipadoo]

Oops

[colt1911]

Important US news from the air, A two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this morning in New York. A search and rescue team led by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has recovered 200 bodies so far, and expects that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

[pipadoo]

Nice

[stattointhailand]

My new neighbours are really noisy .....
At least I now know how Canada feels

Google is not my friend anymore .......
I typed in "Lost medieval servant boy"
and it came back
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