Consolidated Joke Thread

[Niggly]

[stattointhailand]

afraid thats gone WAY over my head .......

Pic of a guy with face paint on holding a shoulder bag and a map of Oz with the city of Perth highlighted

[noosard]

[pipadoo]

Hick!!!!

[AlexO]

Wullie and a stunning blonde are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realise they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted. Rear toilet? He suggests.
Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that condom on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.
But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realised what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system.
“To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations.
Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector.”

And what were you thinking ?

[noosard]

[stattointhailand]

Three excited guys have all just become fathers for the first time (had to be first time as they certainly wouldnt get excited for second). One was English, one was Scottish and the other was Pakistani. When they arrived at the hospital the Dr said he had bad news, as the tags had been lost and they had no idea who's baby was whos. After a few moments they came to the conclusion that it would take weeks/months/may be years for DNA tests and paternity cases to be sorted so they would sort it out themselves.
The Englishman (obviously) went in first (alphabetical order !!)and returned a few moments later with a baby. The other two looked at him astounded, as the baby was Brown and clearly had Pakistani genetics. The Pakistani father said what are you doing, that has to be the Pakistani baby ............ Sorry mate said the Englishman, but one of those two left in there is Scottish, and I'm not taking any chances

[stattointhailand]

National Solutions

[Drunk Monkey]

The UKs North South divide ...

https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4

[pipadoo]

Nicccccce

[vidmaster]

Hmmmm

[pipadoo]

Touché

[stattointhailand]

[stattointhailand]

[pipadoo]

Got it

[stattointhailand]

1spl.jpg (6.31 KiB) Viewed 1836 times

Well it is the Jok thread

[pipadoo]

Nice

[pipadoo]

Precisely

[stattointhailand]

[stattointhailand]