Consolidated Joke Thread

[747man]

Think about this it's very Subtle....

McDonald’s are bringing out the Prince Andrew burger.

It’s a 62 year old piece of meat inside 16 year old buns.

[747man]

What do women have in common with worms?

They both wriggle when you eat them.

[747man]

Another Very Subtle one for you....

[747man]

FR7LExMXsAQQnYs.jpg (22.05 KiB) Viewed 3359 times

[747man]

[747man]

The Wife was watching a cookery show last night on TV so I said to her “Why the hell are you watching that as you can't cook?"
She said "well you watch porn you fat bastard..."

[tamada]

The Consolidated Joke thread is in the Open Forum.

Hope this helps.

[stattointhailand]

Another misdemeanor like that 747 man and its to the Consolidated Championship Jokes thread for you

[747man]

The Consolidated Joke thread is in the Open Forum.

Hope this helps.

Ahhh !! O.K. Tam I Just Found it Thank You....

[747man]

Another misdemeanor like that 747 man and its to the Consolidated Championship Jokes thread for you

Yes Boss, You have My CONSOLIDATED Apology.....Carry on with the SAW Sharpening Now....

[stattointhailand]

[747man]

THIS IS A MUST READ.......BRILLIANT
Weight Loss Program.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
He lost 33 lbs that week.

[stattointhailand]

[stattointhailand]

Trumps golf course rules

[stattointhailand]

[pipadoo]

Firstly, THANK YOU EVERYONE for your concern.

I'm ok, but quite shaken up, but I'll be ok. For those of you who don't know what happened, | was robbed at the petrol station.

I got myself together after it happened, my hands were still shaking, I was dizzy and I was probably in shock.

My money was gone. I called the police, they were fantastic and called for an ambulance as my blood pressure was through the roof.

The police asked me if I knew who did it, and
I told them "Yes, it was petrol pump number 4 !!!!!!!!”

[747man]

BREAKING NEWS : Doris the tea lady was due for a new contract from West Ham with a two Bob a month raise

But in the last 15 minutes Newcastle have made a last minute bid. Offering double the raise and a new tea cart

Doris’s Agent says she’s undecided......555 ! This one for Statto !!!!

[747man]

Ann Summers have announced it is going to sell lager flavoured gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their fannies, in a bid to encourage more men to perform oral sex. Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears that it will lead to 24-hour minge drinking!..

[Earnest]

Have you nicked a Mick Miller joke or is that from your gag book, Alan?

[stattointhailand]

More like Glen Miller........ leaves you "In the mood" to dive in front of the "Chattanooga choo choo"