Variations on a Theme: Thai Women and foreign husbands.

Post by **BKKSTAN** » August 16, 2007, 4:09 pm

I know several Thai women with tattoos that have never been near the bar scene!!
It used to be that your statement was true about them generally being connected to the bar scene,but not anymore!I still have the instant thought of ''bar girl'' when I see a young gal sporting a tattoo and I know several other falangs that think that way!I know better,but that is my first thought!It would be interesting to hear what the local citizens think,especially if they don't see her with a falang!

I personally don't like them!But I am not fond of tattoos in general.I am glad and hopeful that my wife doesn't want one and I will do my best to discourage our teenage daughter if the subject ever comes up!

Post by **glalt** » August 21, 2007, 1:55 pm

I moved over here in 1991. I moved here for work because a major US company sold the factory I worked in and left me unemployed. One of the Thai engineers I worked with worried about me being lonely and and tried his best at match making. I did appreciate his efforts but eventually assured him that I could do quite well WITHOUT his help. One of the bits of advice he gave me was that the correct age for a bride was half the man's age plus seven years. He told me that that was acceptable to Thai people and that they would approve of that age difference. I really didn't pay a lot of attention to that advice but as it happened, I was 58 and my now wife was then 36. The past four years have been the best four years of my life. Could it all go bad? Certainly, but I don't expect it to and if it did, I always followed my golden rule, and that is NOT to spend more than I can afford to walk away from.

Post by **dill** » August 21, 2007, 3:07 pm

i honestly think that some exbargirls can change even if they are receiving a seport from a fallang.
most of them want to have a good life like the rest of us and just because they were in the bar industry it does not make them all bad.
they can change ,just like us.
but on another note i have seen some girls out there they just dont want to change ,and that is up to them.

Post by **Fred the Farmer** » August 21, 2007, 8:59 pm

ray23 wrote:
Anyone notice that the people writing these articles are not in farrang Thai marriages.

I would say that before you can judge someone a clear undertanding is really required.

Some you older fella's should get off the beer chiang and sang som, and stop being so paranoid.

Please re-read the article, the reporter only reported what he saw and what poeple said, he was not being judgemental at ALL!!!

At the end it leaves the reader with the impression that falungs are most wanted commodity with a 90% saying they would like a foreign benefactor.

Post by **Bump** » August 21, 2007, 9:21 pm

Hey Fred I don't drink and I'm probably not that old

My point wasn't if he was being judgmental, it was he had no first hand knolwdege.

I still believe that is an accurate observation.

Maybe I should go have a Chaing and reread it

Post by **Aardvark** » August 22, 2007, 3:54 pm

I've just finished work and I'm on my third Scotch, so I think I might wait until tomorrow before I answer Freds post

Post by **Fred the Farmer** » August 22, 2007, 5:52 pm

ray23 wrote:Hey Fred I don't drink and I'm probably not that old

My point wasn't if he was being judgmental, it was he had no first hand knolwdege.

I still believe that is an accurate observation.

Maybe I should go have a Chaing and reread it

Whats a man supposed to do, the reporter came to Thailand he talked to people and reported, do you think that his article should be considered as misinformation because he didn't get married to see what it feels like?

I actually think that he summed everything up in a very nice sincere way.

It even made me laugh the story about the thai brother/husband bit.

Post by **Bump** » August 22, 2007, 7:30 pm

Isn't it wonderful that we both can see it how we want to see it. In the end it doesn't really matter.

Post by **Fred the Farmer** » August 22, 2007, 9:42 pm

ray23 wrote: Don't think these old Thai geezer with some baht are not doing the same thing that we farrangs are accussed of doing. Or does anyone think that Mia Noi's are choosen because they have great educations and are going to contribute to the family income. In the end folks we didnt bring anything new it was already here.

The biggest difference Thai's don't walk down the street hand and hand with the little sweety

I would say never forget what brought you here and savor it for as long a possible

There is a difference here,

The Mia Noi know's that she is a Mia Noi, the Thai Man will usually have enough resources to support both or three or four Mia Noi's if he doesn't it blows up in his face too. But he does not marry his Mia Noi or take her home.......he supports her quietly. Thus you never see them walking down the street hand and hand.

What Falung's are doing I think is a little different, as we are taking potential Mia Noi's and doing what you say and spoiling them and the extended family.

Post by **Fred the Farmer** » August 22, 2007, 9:48 pm

ray23 wrote:

I would say never forget what brought you here and savor it for as long a possible

Sorry Ray I forgot to say I definitely agree with this!!!

oldfield · Post by **oldfield** » August 22, 2007, 10:02 pm

BKKSTAN wrote:I know several Thai women with tattoos that have never been near the bar scene!!!

Really???????????????????????

Post by **Bump** » August 23, 2007, 9:10 am

Well Fred I think we agree about more the we dispute. The two things about relationships in Thailand that confuses farrangs in my mind are.

The dowery or sin sod.

The other I would say are Mia Nois.

There are many thing here that are quietly accepted but not brought op out in the open. Not the same thing but brothels are a good example, they are in every major city. Quietly ran they seem to have very little problems, but as we saw here in Udon they start getting to publicly open. Thai's will act upon it.

I even have seen a farrang here that actually believed it was acceptable to move his cute little Mai Noi in the house with his wife andd they would live happily ever after. Guess you know what happend.

It's a bad analogy, but I try to think of a Mia Noi in the same manner as a mistress would be in my country. Yes it happens but most keep it very quiet. It's an area I choose not to be involved in not because of some higher moral code, just seems to complicated to me. I would have a vrey hard time deciding where my real home is

As to my marriage I really don't find it any different then my prior marriages to farangs. It has it's good parts and bad parts. it has the same little games and power struggles as anyother real marriage.

I would be the first to admit the first incentive was money in her case and mine was a little lower then the money belt. That has evolved beyond that for both of us.

My experience in marriage tells me in general what brought to people together if not inhanced, won't keep two people together. No matter where you are. My rule of thumb if it's just money that easy to replace, shouldn't take more then one evening out to replace that. Unfortunatley this seem to be the marriages that get the attention. Not the real ones.

This is where I differ with these writeups. It's nothing persoanl against the writer, he is simply writing what is available to him. I would be very surprised if those of us live here don't know about great success stories and marriages lasted decades. As well as the tragedies. I could also say the same about my home country.