Consolidated Joke Thread

[747man]

It was 10 years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand.

Very Old One that, I Posted it about a Year Ago......

[747man]

[tamada]

[jackspratt]

Very Old One that, I Posted it about a Year Ago......

Well picked up, 474.

You're the only one on the forum who should be allowed to post the same joke again ....... and again ,,,,,.. and again ....

[747man]

Very Old One that, I Posted it about a Year Ago......

Well picked up, 474.

You're the only one on the forum who should be allowed to post the same joke again ....... and again ,,,,,.. and again ....

But I'm The Only one on the forum that posts FUNNY Ones Jacko......555 !!

[jackspratt]

But I'm The Only one on the forum that posts FUNNY Ones Jacko......555 !!

Ah!... yes - I remember that one, jumbo. In fact, from memory, I think I even congratulated you on it.

Anyway, keep up the good work, and see if you can come up with another funny one next year.

[747man]

But I'm The Only one on the forum that posts FUNNY Ones Jacko......555 !!

Ah!... yes - I remember that one, jumbo. In fact, from memory, I think I even congratulated you on it.

Anyway, keep up the good work, and see if you can come up with another funny one next year.

Bet I'll come up a FEW Funny ones before You do ONE !!

[747man]

A biker stops when he notices a young girl who's about to jump off a bridge.
He asks her:
Do you mind giving me a final kiss before you jump?
She quietly accepted and gave him one of the deepest lingering kisses he had ever had.
When she finished, he said wow that is the best Kiss I ever had.
Why are you committing suicide?
She replied:
My parents don't like me dressing up as girl!"

[747man]

A husband, admiring his naked body in the mirror, says to his wife, "Look at that, fourteen stone of pure dynamite!"
His wife replies, "Fu*individual shame about the two inch fuse!"

[747man]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat.
As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his: Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?
"She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba."

[jackspratt]

A husband, admiring his naked body in the mirror, says to his wife, "Look at that, fourteen stone of pure dynamite!"
His wife replies, "Fukcing shame about the two inch fuse!"

[747man]

A husband, admiring his naked body in the mirror, says to his wife, "Look at that, fourteen stone of pure dynamite!"
His wife replies, "Fukcing shame about the two inch fuse!"

quote-confessions-may-be-good-for-the-soul-but-they-are-bad-for-the-reputation-thomas-dewar-53-80-00.jpg

555 !! Jacko, YOU Wouldn't like it on yer face for a WART !!

[747man]

[tinpeeba]

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

[tinpeeba]

Womb is pronounced as "woom" and tomb as "toom".
It's only fair that bomb should go "boom".

[tinpeeba]

My wife told me: Sex is better on holiday.
I wasn’t expecting that on the postcard she sent from Spain.

[Irish Alan]

[747man]

[747man]

[747man]

Some People on Here MIGHT Have to Think about this one........