A good joke should stand on its own 2 feet, and not require an explanation. But as DM is an avid reader of this thread, perhaps in this case ........tamada wrote: ↑July 24, 2024, 11:52 am
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed on the 407 yesterday, scattering its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, disoriented, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
Consolidated Joke Thread
-
jackspratt
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 16929
- Joined: July 2, 2006, 5:29 pm
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Best being part of this forum by placing the intellectual challenged on foes list. A lot less post to read and a great time saver.
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
At my age, I am careful about my diet. I have been a great believer that vitamins and supplements are ok, but if absorbed as part of your diet it is more effective than as a tablet supplement.
Citrus better than vitamin C tabs.
Grains, better than vitamins or Marmite (yuk)
Sunlight better than vitamin D and
Fish based Omega is better than vitamin E capsules
How ever I have researched and deduced (I am a slow learner) that for sex enhancements, vitamins benefits from plastic.
Vitamin ATM.
Citrus better than vitamin C tabs.
Grains, better than vitamins or Marmite (yuk)
Sunlight better than vitamin D and
Fish based Omega is better than vitamin E capsules
How ever I have researched and deduced (I am a slow learner) that for sex enhancements, vitamins benefits from plastic.
Vitamin ATM.
Best being part of this forum by placing the intellectual challenged on foes list. A lot less post to read and a great time saver.
-
jackspratt
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 16929
- Joined: July 2, 2006, 5:29 pm
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Alan, Alan .... where are you? 
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Yep
- Attachments
-
- 180b8728-8983-4801-9876-9b1ad12fce9f.jpeg (33.82 KiB) Viewed 9473 times
-
trekkertony
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 922
- Joined: November 28, 2007, 4:25 am
- Location: Australia
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I’m voting for Trump."
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH”
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days!
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I’m voting for Trump."
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH”
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days!
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
This thread as about jokes not pathetic political pot-shots.
Best being part of this forum by placing the intellectual challenged on foes list. A lot less post to read and a great time saver.
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Comments from.the cheap seats.
Best being part of this forum by placing the intellectual challenged on foes list. A lot less post to read and a great time saver.
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Who pished in your cornflakes then?
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Up to you noo and Tam. There are plenty of threads where people can express their political.or social views. If you thought TT's post was funny fair enough, I don't.
Best being part of this forum by placing the intellectual challenged on foes list. A lot less post to read and a great time saver.
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until next week."
~Ian Vincent~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
MEL BROOKS there is only ONE
Moses Ten Commandments - Mel Brooks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w556vrpsy4w
Moses Ten Commandments - Mel Brooks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w556vrpsy4w
