Danger Signs

Long distance relationships, mixed relationships etc...
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arjay
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Post by arjay » November 30, 2005, 8:14 pm

"she had a notebook and was stringing along 5 and more at a time. She just made notes of anything significant, "remembering" lots of things!"
Quite so John.... I worked in Patong Language School for about a year and a half, some years ago, and the work involved assisting with translations as well as teaching English. I would sit there with a thai teacher, she would translate from Thai to basic English and I would refine that further. You would be amazed at what I saw and read. I could write a book about it. In fact two colleagues did!!

Girls writing the same hard luck stories to multiple boyfriends in numerous countries. All sorts of family crisis, like, the mother or father was ill in hospital, the brother had had a motorbike accident going to visit the father, the son or daughters school fees were overdue. And it would go something like ..."I don't want to ask you, because I know you work hard in your country, but I just don't know who to turn to".

Once when we were translating a letter from a foreigner to a Thai girl, which was particulalry touching, we were overheard by the girl on the next PC doing her emails, and she was so impressed by the wording she asked of she could copy it down. It was something like, "As I've waited all my life for someone as lovely and special as you, I am sure I can wait a bit longer to be with you".

Common expressions included, "When I walk past the places we used to go to together, I can't help but cry". "I know you don't want me to work bar, but I have to pay my daughter's school fees this month". etc etc.

I even know of one guy, who when back in his home country, received a hard luck phone call asking for money from a girl he knew here, and then later the same day he had another phone call from the same girl, with the same hard luck story, but calling him by a different name!!

Rj



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Paul
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Post by Paul » November 30, 2005, 9:51 pm

businessman wrote:
If so how else can a guy meet a "nice" thai girl.
It's a catch22 situation as all the best girls speak not a word of English .
Hmmm strong words there BM - care to rephrase it to 'most of' ?

I know many many girls who spent 4 years in University doing English as a major and was damned hard work - and then to be cast as 'not one of the best' ???

Dont get carried away in the topic!

Regards
Paul

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Post by yorkman » November 30, 2005, 10:12 pm

Paul wrote:Hmmm strong words there BM - care to rephrase it to 'most of'
:lol: Yes I did look a bit aghast at that myself, for similar reasons

Times are, however changing, the kids are learning English from 5 or so now (albeit to a poor standard, from teachers who generally only teach "words") and many of the University courses have a mandatory English component. It does not appear to get most beyond a basic standard, but thats another topic.

Its perhaps the phrases they use is a better test.....they do not learn "he stingy man" at University.....at least not in class time :roll:

John

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Paul
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Post by Paul » November 30, 2005, 10:19 pm

Well to drift slightly off topic for 5 minutes, for every person I know at the University (yes I know a lot) who can speak excellent English, there are just as many who cannot hold a converstation or even string two sentences together - despite having a degree in English. Don't get me wrong - they can read and write perfectly but talk with them and they crumble !

The head of English at the school I work at cannot even hold a conversation with me in English. (and I pray she doesn't read Udonmap :) )

But like I said - there are many who can speak great English - and I would marry any one of them (oh please let there be a God ) LOL

Regards
Paul

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Post by Bangsean_girl » November 30, 2005, 10:52 pm

Paul reading ur post make me feel so angry how can u talked bad about me like that ! lol :P nah just kidding ! well i m a new member in here now :D finally i know how to use this forum ! but i stillll dont know how to put my photo in here well oneday i' am gonna find out how!!! anyway i would like to practice my English i 've been reading all post for awhile and today i decided to be a memeber as i wanna show my opinion about some topics too :D i am the 1st year student in the university in Bangsean my university's name Burapa University but my hometown is in udonthani :) i miss udonthani alot thats why i come to this website to read about all the news in Udonthani :) Bangsean where i study is quite good we have a nice beach , moutain call" Kao sam mok" but what surprsied me is that there are not as many foreigners here as in Udonthani i dont know why maybe they all go to Pattaya instead??? coz Bangsean is really close to Pataya :) anyway i am the new member here now and so if there anything wrong or my English is too bad that u can't understand i wanna apologise about this hehe i know there are not many thai people use this forum maybe they are afraid to talk with foreigners i dont know but i have no time to be shy or i will never know anything :)
Last edited by Bangsean_girl on November 30, 2005, 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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wansman
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Post by wansman » November 30, 2005, 10:59 pm

Bangsean_girl, Welcome. You are just what we need here. If you have been reading this forum for a while you can see the opinions and problems that we discuss. Sometimes we desparately need a Thai Lady's advice and opinion. If you ever read something here that you do not understand just say so and we will explain.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck

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Post by BobHelm » November 30, 2005, 11:06 pm

Welcome to the forum Bangsean_girl.
You are correct that there are not too many Thai people posting, which is a real pity, and there are few female posters either so you are in a real minority :D and will have to excuse some of the posts sometimes.:oops:
As for your English language skills, that won't be a problem for me personally - after the Aussie and US posters it will probably be a breath of fresh air - sorry guys couldn't resist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :roll: :roll:

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banpaeng
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Post by banpaeng » November 30, 2005, 11:11 pm

Welcome Bansean Girl. Nice to have you onboard. It will be real interesting to hear what you have to say. :D :D

By reading this thread I must say a lot of church goers here!!!! :shock:

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Post by Bangsean_girl » November 30, 2005, 11:29 pm

thx for a warm welcome :D Well i have read alot about what people think about thai girls . Some of it i agree and some i dont . i 'd like to tell people here that i 'm not here to disagree with anyones opinions - and will not be writing 100's of pages - but sometimes want to put the case forward from a Thai perspective. :) :twisted:

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Paul
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Post by Paul » November 30, 2005, 11:45 pm

Hi Bangsaen Girl

It will be interesting for you to see what us foreigners think of Thai girls - and I guess Thailand in general! Please correct us if we are misguided and misjudge people on something. Its a dominant male forum so will be refreshing to get a view from the other side too - and perhaps you can tell us if we are really right when we think what Thai people (girls) think of us - or do we just have over active imaginations?

Speaking of University students too - I didn't notice too many spelling mistakes in your post - so it seems the spell checker works well then :)

Only kidding LOL - I hope you will be a valuable addition to the forum :) (and certainly one of the cutest)
PM me if you want to know anything more :)

Paul 8)

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hi

Post by Bangsean_girl » November 30, 2005, 11:55 pm

well finally i can find the way to post my photo here ha! well all people here i wanna tell u that i can speak little english and i never ever want any money from u and the most important thing is i wanna stay in thailand !! :Plol :D

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Post by yorkman » December 1, 2005, 12:12 am

Ahhhh my wife has some of her students that have gone to Bangsean. I'll ask their names and see if you know them. When she wakes up....it will be in the morning now :lol:

John

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BobHelm
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Post by BobHelm » December 1, 2005, 12:14 am

Plol, I think that you will find that 90% of the posters on this site either want to stay in thailand, or come to thailand (and the sooner the better in my case :D ).

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Post by yorkman » December 1, 2005, 12:18 am

BobHelm wrote:(and the sooner the better in my case :D ).
The sooner the better certainly Bob if thats you in the Avatar...can you get up the plane steps??? :lol:

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Paul
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Post by Paul » December 1, 2005, 12:41 am

yorkman wrote:
BobHelm wrote:(and the sooner the better in my case :D ).
The sooner the better certainly Bob if thats you in the Avatar...can you get up the plane steps??? :lol:

Yorkman:
ha ha ha - isnt that the pot calling the kettle black ? judging from your avatar ??

I had a chuckle at that one - thanks :)

Paul 8)

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BobHelm
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Post by BobHelm » December 1, 2005, 12:45 am

John, I have said it before. This is not an Avatar it is my passport photo... :D Although I wil admit to a shave since it was done... :D :D

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Post by yorkman » December 1, 2005, 1:37 am

banpaeng wrote:
By reading this thread I must say a lot of church goers here!!!! :shock:
I doubt there are many church goers here! Even in the behaviour and outlook sense that I guess you mean.

If its about "normality" and so called acceptable behaviour...this is just about normality in Thailand. As an example, many women smoke in Falangland...its maybe not a good idea.. but does not single them out in any particular way. My wife commented to me long before this thread came up..we were eating in a restaurant and a woman (with Thai husband and kids) lit up. She was very surprised as its unknown to her (almost I guess).

She heads dangerously towards the "six" number put forward by Mark

1 A good command of the English language. (Not Bad...)
2 Demands for money early on. (Early on!!!! All the time!)
3 A love of gambling. (Every time she drives the car)
4 A strong desire to leave Thailand quickly. (Well we are going to the Maldives in April....she cannot wait!!!)
5 An agency girl. (Errrr.....no)
6 Talking of marriage after only a few dates. (Talked about marriage after the once yearly (New Years evening) glasses of Spy, before she fell down :lol: )
7 Too much gold. (Yes...any amount is too much... I bought it)
8 Internet proficiency. (Certainly!!! had an Internet cafe)
9 Western style attire. (Jeans...and occasionally if I insist and beg some riske underwear)
10 Dyed hair,permed hair and plastic surgery. (Dyes hair...black..worries about the slightest imperfection)
11 Smoking. (not in the sense meant here, an old old joke)

Joking aside...these are valid points with which I personally IMHO agree

I do not think anybody is been over "holier than thou" here...its just observation....maybe right...maybe wrong

John
Last edited by yorkman on December 1, 2005, 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Galee
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Post by Galee » December 1, 2005, 2:16 am

I've followed this thread with interest and must admit I've found it informative and very re-assuring.

Out of all the "Danger Signs" mentioned I reckon only one of them would relate to my GF.

That one is talking about marriage, but as she's in her 30's and has never been married and we both knew we were looking for a LTR when we met, I think it's an understandable request.

Gary.

Oh yes, welcome aboard Bangsean Girl.

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Post by yorkman » December 1, 2005, 2:38 am

Galee wrote:
Out of all the "Danger Signs" mentioned I reckon only one of them would relate to my GF.

That one is talking about marriage, but as she's in her 30's and has never been married and we both knew we were looking for a LTR when we met, I think it's an understandable request.

Gary.

Oh yes, welcome aboard Bangsean Girl.
Yep....providing you have actually "met" and its not just an internet thing.....and have seen and understand how her life is and her outlook....that seems very reasonable.

I know a girl here who is shortly to marry a man not a long distance at all away from you..about 50 miles....in her 30's also and unmarried (circumstances only, she is lovely) and she is a very nice totally honest woman....and a good friend to me and my family.

Its the long distance...or 2 weeks in Thailand......overly absorbed with the beautiful thai girl (on the outside,maybe) people thats the discussion here I think.

If she only wants a loving relationship, first and foremost, and you are sure..the rest comes later as is normal in relationships all over the world IMHO.....then you will get an excellent wife and partner in life who would fight to the death for you. This thread is just about the others..... and there are many many here..its a cottage industry

John

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Galee
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Post by Galee » December 1, 2005, 3:09 am

Hi Yorkman.

Thanks for your best wishes.

Meet?. Do you actually have to meet!. I didn't realise that.

Only joking.

I'd like to think I'm old enough and wise enough, not to get carried away.

I realise meeting someone who is in another country is fraught with problems, but the realistic side is that unless your self employed and well off, time together is going to be limited initially.

Personally, I've met my GF twice this year and will be together for nearly the whole of January. I wish it could be more often and longer, but I only get so much leave a year.

The true test of our relationship will be when she comes to visit me for a few months next year. Hopefully, things will then be able to move onto the next level.

So, I'm going reasonably sloowwwww. Not rushing.

Worse case scenario is that it all goes t**s up. If it does I won't have anyone else to blame except myself and I can't say I haven't been warned.

Gary

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